Archive for 2009
need the password?
In ramblings on November 24, 2009 at 5:37 pm“i am maureen” is the blog i use to receive feedback on first drafts of poems. the poems are password-protected so that i am free to submit them later on for publication in a literary journal (after several rounds of revision, of course). if you’re a fellow poet interested in reading or offering comment, send me an email to request the password. my address is caroleesherwood, and i’m at gmail. i use the same password for all the poems, so you’ll only have to take this step one time. thanks for stopping by!
~carolee
Protected: “continents” painting free-write and process notes
In paintings on July 9, 2009 at 12:52 ammovin’ on up!
In ramblings on May 12, 2009 at 2:16 pmi’m moving! there’s a wordy explanation (welcome post) at the new site.
you can update your links whenever you get a chance!
we’ve got babies!
In photography, ramblings on May 11, 2009 at 3:36 pmthere ended up being four eggs in our robin’s nest. they started hatching yesterday. today, three are fully out of their eggs.
images of places i’ve been recently
In photography, ramblings on May 1, 2009 at 4:36 pmi stopped in ogunquit for a few minutes on my way to northern maine to my parents’ house (i still say “parents,” plural) at easter (i posted a poem and photos here.) after nearly two weeks up there, i started my drive home to new york. i stopped in ogunquit again, this time for a full 24 hours to rest before getting back to a “normal” — hectic! — schedule with the three boys.
my close blog pals will notice i’m leaving a bunch of stuff out. i haven’t really shared with anyone much about what happened while i was with my parents/sister or my reactions to it. there are many things i can’t explain. the words may come. they may not. for now, a photo essay, of sorts.
some of you will remember that when my grandmother was ill, i sketched her during my watch at her bedside. i also sketched my mom last month in my journal while we “waited.” i don’t have the skill to create portraits, but sometimes i do capture an emotion.
first, here’s a photo my sister took of my mother kayaking at “her” mountain in the summer of 2008:
here’s a sketch of my parents the week after easter 2009:
the inspiration for the robin’s egg poem
In photography on May 1, 2009 at 3:27 pmon wednesday, i noticed that “our” robin had returned to her annual post near our door and filled her nest with three new eggs. it inspired the poem “promise.” someone told me she had never seen a robin’s eggs in a nest, and so i decided to share photos.
here’s the mama:
here’s the nest (not the greatest focus, but i like the way the light filters onto the nest):
and here’s a close-up of the inside (i had clearer close-ups, but i like how the nest reflects the blue of the eggs):
word problems
In my poems on May 1, 2009 at 1:30 pmTHIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
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something silly to kick off a new month. i think it would be great if the cupcake question were a little more serious (or of dual meaning) like the other questions, but it’s just-for-fun and it’s just-a-draft and i kind of like it being a reminder about the ridiculous nature of all of the questions.
napowrimo #30
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 30, 2009 at 2:39 pmor is it napowrimo #18? i’m horrible at math. 
THIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
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a short one. something told me to add more to it would be to venture too far down already well-worn paths. the heartache sagas. this way, ending here, leaves stark the fact that she’s longing. it’s a good excuse for letting the draft go, anyway.
be sure to visit our last napowrimo party at read write poem today!
quote of the day
In ramblings on April 30, 2009 at 12:34 pmin the tradition of a dear pal (michelle), who posts delightful, eloquent and soul-grabbing quotes on her beautiful blog (peony moon), i am posting a quote today, as well. it has nothing to do with poetry, and it’s more about flesh-grabbing than soul-grabbing. but i am a girl who likes to laugh, and this quote (and the article you MUST read) made me laugh. here goes:
“I’m not a slut. I’m an honor student!”
it is from “Ouch, you’re lying on my hair,” an essay by valerie frankel, which is part of a “joys of sex” series on self.com. (don’t be afraid when you visit the link; it says it’s page 1 of 8, but this particular article is only 3 pages.) it’s a delightful article about humor and sex, two of my favorite things (strangely missing from the julie andrew’s song … “raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens”).
napowrimo #17
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 29, 2009 at 5:49 pmTHIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
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we have a pet robin. that’s what the kids say, anyway. i remind them again and again that she is a wild animal. this is the third year she has built a nest three feet from our front door. we rejoice the first day we notice the eggs (today). four the first two years. three this year.
it’s incredible when they hatch, homely, trembling, purple eyelids bulging, yellow beaks wide and hungry. they grow so quickly. last year, i was lucky enough to watch as two of them left the nest.
we have many hawks here, and one of them is very comfortable getting close to the house. he watches the nest as closely as we do. last year, i think he got one or two of the babies. but that’s what hawks do (although i did shoo him away once or twice).
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although this isn’t based on a specific prompt, you should go see what’s up with the prompts and poems at read write poem. many many many of the napowrimo people are still going!
napowrimo #16
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 28, 2009 at 1:42 pmTHIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
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don’t forget to visit the other napowrimo-ers at read write poem!
napowrimo #15
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 27, 2009 at 5:19 pmi’m so far behind, i think i’m ahead.
most of you know i have a pretty darn good excuse for taking myself out of the running for the napowrimo goddess crown (the object of this whole writing extravaganza is to be recipient of the diamond tiara, right?). for now, while it’s still april, i’ll identify my poems by their napowrimo number. it’s how i’m going to cheer the rest of you on. it’s how i’m going to get back into writing after the hiatus. it’s how i’m going to get away with calling crappy drafts “poems” for a few more days.
this piece is inspired by a true story. a piece of my morning. angelina jolie is here, in little ol’ albany, filming a movie. they’ve closed down one of our bridges — the one between jill and me, the one my narrator jumped off in a poem late this winter — to accommodate the crew shooting scenes. it presents a great challenge to me to get most anywhere when this bridge is closed. the other bridges over the hudson are miles away. i spent some of my day driving out of my way.
THIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
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go see what everyone else has been writing about over at read write poem!
happy poetry news
In process on April 18, 2009 at 7:34 pmtwo good bits of news:
1) a collaboration i did with jill in response to anne sexton is up now at qarrtsiluni (complete with audio. always scary!)
and
2) my poetry submission has been selected to be part of my regional art center’s “memoir project.” i’ll be part of a reading on “self-hood” in june. (even scarier!)
napowrimo #14
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 18, 2009 at 5:36 pmTHIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
you know i’m not a quiet girl, right?
In my poems, napowrimo 2009, ramblings on April 18, 2009 at 1:35 pmnapowrimo #13 (click “read more” to go straight to the poem)
it’s been quiet at “i am maureen” for the last several days, but i have been writing in my journal. nothing cohesive. not even any “dear diary”-type entries. but there are notes. notes about what’s going on here. notes about possible poems. notes about possible poems about what’s going on here.
i’ve also been sketching some. long-time friends will remember that i sketched my grandmother while i was at her bedside in august 2007. i have a few sketches of my mom. i’m not talented enough for portrait-type results, but i do sometimes manage to capture the emotion — or something that invokes an emotion. it’s helpful to me. a way to say something i don’t have words for. (i’ll share them as soon as i can make them digital. no scanner here. probably will photograph them.)
it has been a difficult week, of course. but i want you to know i’m doing OK. my mom is beyond the line at which you can imagine a person being able to survive, and i have a lot of anger about why people have to suffer like this. while i wish i could be translating all of this into a “carpe diem”-type philosophy of life, i’m not. however, i did think of an idea for a poem while watching animal planet and updating my facebook status. it’s a miracle any poems at all were written prior to the advent of such media (ha ha). here’s what my update said: “carolee wishes she were roaming the savanna with a herd of elephants, practicing her trumpeting.”
napowrimo #12
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 13, 2009 at 10:04 am
sometimes, i lament the fact that i feel unsettled, unfit, unwelcome, out-of-place and out-of-sorts nearly everywhere. today, however, i’m feeling grateful that i know one place i belong. even though i don’t know why or how, my place — the place that always makes me feel like myself — is ogunquit beach in maine. there are other beaches that look a lot like it. there are beaches that are warmer (last evening, it was in the 30s with a ferocious wind). there are beaches that are more private. there are beaches all around. but this is the one. this is the spot. i don’t question it; i allow it.
i go there whenever i can, even if it’s Read the rest of this entry »
napowrimo #11
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 11, 2009 at 12:25 ami resort to list poems a lot when i’m under pressure, like napowrimo pressure, for example. i’ll home saturday (today), writing and cleaning, instead of at the poetry festival in saratoga. but it’s ok. it would have been too stressful to go and still try to get ready for easter now that i have decided that it’s time for me to go back to maine to be with my mom, dad and sister (brief update follows poem). i’ll leave after an early easter dinner with the boys on sunday. so this could be my last napowrimo poem for a while. of course.
THIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
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update: my mom has deteriorated markedly the last week or week and a half. she’s been unable to eat for most of that time. she’s unable to get up to use the bathroom. she can’t hold her own cups when she wants a drink or sustain her voice long enough to state what she needs. she “sleeps” some with her eyes open. she had wanted to put off getting a hospital bed in the house until she absolutely couldn’t put it off anymore; it was delivered today. the boys will go to stay with my mother-in-law so dave can keep working unless i decide i need him there.
napowrimo #10
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 10, 2009 at 4:07 pmTHIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
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this idea has been brewing for a bit. i don’t know if there are more sections or if this is it. no need to make the difficult decisions now. in the midst of the napowrimo orgy, one must only enjoy the fornication. implications? complications? revelations? retributions? that’s what the morning after is for.
napowrimo #9
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 10, 2009 at 3:41 pmTHIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
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just a fun idea. i’d like to get a little more creative with the fake poem titles eventually.
napowrimo #8
In my poems, napowrimo 2009, ramblings on April 10, 2009 at 2:42 pmi’m a french horn player. or i was. i still “can” play. it’s just very difficult. i have a decent range and a full sound, but i lack stamina. the french horn is considered the most challenging instrument in the orchestra. you can play most notes in the open position by simply changing your embouchure, so it requires a good ear and lots of practice to achieve, reliably, the right note. i’ve always had poor sight-reading skills — trouble predicting intervals and sorting out complicated rhythms. however, i love it very much. i melt at its sound in a piece of music. its voice is joy and melancholy in a single tone. it thrills me to put my lips to the mouthpiece and create a note, to string some notes together and play a melody.
i came to the french horn in a round-about way. in our school, instrument instruction began in the fifth grade. i wanted to play drums. my mother wanted me to play flute. it was one of my early lessons in how “the person who pays for the roof over your head — and the instrument you play — is in charge.” i joined the rows of girls learning to play the flute. i hated it. everything about it. its sound. the fact that i seemed to blow far more air through the thing than was actually utilized in playing. the fact that you hold it out toward the right (i insisted that as a lefty this was quite impossible; i was probably just being stubborn. me?). i quit after Read the rest of this entry »
napowrimo #7
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 7, 2009 at 10:06 pmagain today i thought of giving myself a free pass on poetry. but i have a really bad habit of giving myself a free pass on one thing and then letting everything else slide along with it. my commitments to myself are precious and i feel horrible when i desert them just because i don’t feel like it. then i beat myself up. and i’m brutal about it.
i just don’t feel like poetry today. i got up too early and i’m off my game. i’m feeling sour about a few things that make me want to stomp around or eat chocolate. but in the name of maintaining the upper hand on all things lazy and cranky, i’m poeming. and putting a smile on my face. can you see it?
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THIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
confession tuesday
In confessions on April 7, 2009 at 7:26 pmi confess i love confession tuesday and i missed it while i was away from it. (make sure you go to see the other sinners in the confessional over at january’s blog.)
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i issued a confession in my rather lengthy napowrimo prompt at read write poem today. an old nickname. one of my only nicknames, actually. you can let me know if it sounds like bartender, truck driver, poet, stripper, librarian, waitress or something else entirely. maybe i’ll write a poem about that career choice/hobby sometime this month. (no fair voting for “stripper” just to get a poem in which somebody gets naked.)
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when i was a kid, i wanted to grow up to be a truck driver. when i was a kid, i got in trouble for hitting a boy with a hammer. when i was a kid, i could sink to the bottom of the pool and stay there underwater perfectly still so long that people grew concerned about me.
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i miss diet pepsi. but not as much as i thought i would.
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i hate easter.
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i want a baby goat. (they’re always “for sale” from a local farm this time of year and i saw the sign today for the first time this season.) my husband has already forbidden me to let it in the house. i also want an alpaca, a cow, a donkey and some geese. here a pig, there a pig, everywhere a pig-pig.
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there are two things stopping me from having my own little petting zoo: 1) i think i would feel more tied down/burdened with responsibility than i already do. it would seriously restrict my escape fantasies; and 2) my mother has said to me in the past — the farm is a recurring dream — “it’s hard enough to get rid of a dog when it dies. what do you do with a dead farm animal?” hmph.
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i was hoping doing my confessions before i did my napowrimo poem for today would inspire me. off to go do some writing to see if it worked.
napowrimo #6
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 6, 2009 at 10:31 pmcouldn’t write today for the life of me — whatever that means — but b/c i’m not ready to give up on the napowrimo streak just yet, i’ll grab some notes from the free writing i did and call it a poem. the napowrimo streak, huh? that actually sounds like an alternate activity we could do on the days we fail to come up with a poem. like losing strip poker. not that i’ve ever played stip poker. do you think i’m that kind of girl?
the free writing started to be about things that can be taken away from us (inspired by the thieves at the ymca). it deteriorated into a rant about the bad guys i’ve known. it started to show some promise when it turned toward the realization that there’s nothing, nothing at all, that’s really ours to keep no matter what. i tried to write about the illusion of possessing anything. i tried to avoid using possessive pronouns like my, mine, yours, his, hers. i tried to write about how the only thing there is is this moment. and now this one. and now this one.
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THIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
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anyway, go to read write poem and see if others had better luck than i. there’s nothing to see here. no streaking poets. go on. git.
napowrimo #5
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 5, 2009 at 9:35 pmi had a chance to write (and drink coffee and gossip and attempt to sort out life’s conundrums, dilemmas and other sticking points) with jill today. “our” starbucks was full — no room to sit — so we had to go to a different one. we survived. i am grande skinny caramel latte. she is grande vanilla latte. pay attention. this will be on a quiz someday. a “contemporary american poets who blog” category is being planned for an upcoming episode of jeopardy.
hyped up on all that caffeine, i wrote a poem “good enough for napowrimo” using my 50 words list per jill’s read write prompt for today. my poem turned kind of mad-libby when i tried to show off and see how many words from the list i could include. (for the record, i managed to use 30 without sounding entirely ridiculous.) jill showed off by writing two poems in the same amount of time. then we made wild plans for taking over the world, leading zippy little poetry workshops and pursuing all the repair guys, firemen and milkmen who will have us.
all this chatter is procrastination of working on a new draft based on the poem i wrote today. ok, here goes:
THIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
my 50 words
In ramblings on April 4, 2009 at 10:18 pmi made a list of 50 words, as jill requested on day 1 of napowrimo, but i forgot to share them. so this is me sharing them:
1. orbit
2. stumble
3. virus
4. drawstring
5. squander
6. manual
7. shark
8. wish
9. billow
10. depth
11. finesse
12. mandible
13. finality
14. crank
15. odometer
16. rage
17. flatter
18. spit
19. foolish
20. leading man
21. bubble
22. lottery
23. flask
24. inflammation
25. baritone
26. tramp
27. conserve
28. damp
29. tremor
30. king-size
31. scattered
32. loitering
33. coyote
34. bistro
35. flagrant Read the rest of this entry »
napowrimo #4
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 4, 2009 at 10:08 pmi was at risk today of bailing on napowrimo. i had some lingering anxiety from last night’s theft (of our belongings and hubby’s wallet). i had to do our taxes. i had to do some cleaning. but every day is full of something, right? no excuses. for a limited time only, a bad poem is just as good as a good poem. no excuses. just napowrimo, baby.
and so i used christine’s fabulous read write prompt today even though i didn’t think i could (i actually wrote a paint-color poem a couple months ago and didn’t think i had another one in me today). i pulled an idea from the small notebook in my pocketbook, and it just so happened that the only way to drag the rest of the poem out of me was to give it the name of a benjamin moore shade of orange. (be sure to go to read write poem any day this month and see what other napowrimo-ers are up to!)
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THIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
slurp up some poetry at juicebox
In process on April 4, 2009 at 9:15 amyay! one of my poems — “Inspired by a deer carcass which lay, four mailboxes down, until it lay there no longer” — is in the spring issue at juicebox, a journal of the ordinary.
i really should start sending some more things out. (i’m very irresponsible and lazy with my poems.)
napowrimo #3
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 3, 2009 at 2:09 pmday 3 of taking what comes. used the prompt i posted on the number 3 at read write poem today to get my subject: triangulation. when i was trying to name it, the prompt at poetic asides — “the problem with _____” — helped me.
THIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
napowrimo #2
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 2, 2009 at 4:11 pmi’m sorry for this. it’s all downhill after the title …
THIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
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this is for christine’s prompt at read write poem about using words from one subject matter to describe another. in this piece, three worlds intercept: poetry, porn film-making and pizza. apologies to all three industries. go see what others wrote on the prompt. they linked in the comments at the prompt.
napowrimo #1
In my poems, napowrimo 2009 on April 1, 2009 at 10:06 pmlet the poem-a-day craziness begin, alternatively titled “30 ways to embarrass yourself in public.” kidding. somewhat. it’s fun. it just takes a few days for the editor/critique to shut her yap.
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THIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
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need some inspiration? go see jill’s read write poem prompt for day #1 here. my poem inspiration came (partially) from another source today: the movie “wendy and lucy,” which i can’t really recommend b/c it’s about a woman and her dog being separated. that’s too stressful for me.
confession tuesday
In confessions on March 31, 2009 at 12:10 pmdoes this blog make my butt look big? i have lost zero pounds in 2009. zero! i exercise a lot. i don’t eat sugar (except when i crack, and it’s not often). i don’t eat fried foods. i don’t eat beef or pork. i generally don’t eat large quantities. i have a few food vices, of course. blue chips. guacamole. corona. wine. i said out loud to jill (and maybe to all of facebook) a few weeks ago that i was giving up all four of those things. it lasted 24 hours. but desperate times call for desperate measures. what a freakin’ bummer.
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i am also giving up diet pepsi. it’s horrible for me but i’ve known that for a long, long time. something being bad for us isn’t always motivation enough for ditching it. but it is suspected (by some people) that diet soda is a culprit of weight loss failure. what a freakin’ bummer.
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stress. stress can make your body hang onto its fat stores. i don’t know Read the rest of this entry »
confession tuesday (late)
In confessions on March 25, 2009 at 1:22 pmi am quite certain i will win “bad parent of the year.” i got in an altercation this week at the drive-thru at dunkin’ donuts while my kids were in the car. i was at the window waiting for the kids’ food as we were preparing to leave for maine, and i heard someone honking and yelling, “a**hole” repeatedly at the top of his lungs. i thought to myself, “what’s going on over there?” it was so unexpected it took me a while to realize this jerk was yelling at me. granted, the workers were taking a long time. but i had nothing to do with it. it wasn’t my fault.
i should have ignored him and just driven away. i didn’t. after i got my food i pulled up so he could get his order but i blocked his exit with my husband’s mega-SUV and jumped out of the car. (i am not conscious at this point that i have children, let alone that they were in the car.) i yelled at the guy about yelling at me for something out of my control. he used profanities. i used profanities.
i was reminded that my kids were there when the door of my car opens and my oldest Read the rest of this entry »
no turning back now!
In napowrimo 2009 on March 19, 2009 at 8:15 amit’s official! read write poem will be napowrimo-ing. click on that link to read all about it and add a comment to the post if you plan on joining us. i dare you. i double dog dare you. (and if that doesn’t work, i will get on my knees and beg. come play. give it a try. please please please please. there’s no harm in trying. what have you got to lose?)
random bits of gladness
In confessions on March 18, 2009 at 4:07 pmthis is glorious. it makes me smile every time i look at it. and i look at it a lot.
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on st. patrick’s day, i attended two latin dance classes and drank one mexican beer.
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i feel like my poemer is on the fritz again. yes, i just posted one. but i don’t like it and i didn’t have any fun. (why is this item on a list titled “random bits of gladness”? well, maybe i had a little bit of fun with it.)
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i am super excited about doing hot, sexy things to Read the rest of this entry »
behind the scenes
In ramblings on March 16, 2009 at 2:28 pmi’m part of a group of gals working on preparations for a poetry extravaganza at read write poem next month. we’re tackling a big project, and we’re working feverishly behind the scenes right now. one thing we need to do is test the code for our buttons, so let’s see if this works:
did it take you to the read write poem main page? that’s where it took me!
we’re looking forward to spending april with you writing a poem a day for napowrimo 2009. stay tuned!
good company
In ramblings on March 14, 2009 at 4:57 pmif this spectacular news doesn’t pull me out of my blogging funk, there’s no hope for me. 
the second edition of ouroboros is out. go see. it’s gorgeous. and lots of people you know are in it. (and yours truly, too.)
buried treasure
In poem / virtual group on March 5, 2009 at 8:28 pmjill and i have a couple of collaborative poetry sites that have been on hiatus. even in their active days, they were relatively quiet, intimate gatherings of a few poetry-loving pals. in the wake of the difficult decision the poetry collaborative has made to call it quits, jill and i decided we’d re-invigorate (at least) one of the sites.
we are pleased to announce that the first buried treasure, “poem.,” is launching (again) on sunday, march 8. “poem.” is the place where we take the activities of an IRL poetry group — read a poem, discuss a poem, write a poem — and spread it out over the month. this month (march 2009), we’ll be discussing a poem by denise duhamel. and next month, we’ll be using a poem by ivy alvarez.
i hope you’ll stop by and join the discussions. allow the conversation and the prompts to inspire more poetry in your life.
word play
In my poems on March 5, 2009 at 12:01 pmthis week’s read write prompt — meaning is optional — challenged us to play with the sounds of words. i realized it’s very hard, but something i can see worth the practice.
THIS PIECE WAS A FIRST DRAFT, REMOVED BY THE AUTHOR FOR REVISION AFTER A BRIEF “LIVE” RUN.
go see this week’s get your poem on post to see what kind of nonsense everyone else has been up to.
Protected: she asked so nicely
In bop, collaborative poetry, my poems on February 27, 2009 at 9:38 amblame the manuscript on the cats
In ramblings on February 23, 2009 at 8:35 pmmy cats have finally earned their keep. they helped assemble the current draft of the poetry manuscript. (i’ll offer some notes about my process and a workshop i attended in an upcoming post.) here’s freddy pitching in:
and here’s tsu: Read the rest of this entry »
ignore the cow statue
In ramblings on February 23, 2009 at 8:25 pmdon’t hold against me the fact that i own a cow statue. this post is not about my pathetic collection of ugly things. this is a bragging post. a mommy glow post.
grainger had 4th grade art homework over the february vacation. he had to set up a still-life and sketch. here’s what he set up:
here’s what he drew (i didn’t crop it out; he let it run off his page): Read the rest of this entry »
when 750 pages disappoints
In ramblings on February 19, 2009 at 10:47 amSPOILER ALERT: if you plan on reading wally lamb’s new novel the hour i first believed, don’t read any more of this post b/c i’m going to tell you what happens (and you don’t want to know).
i purchased the book for myself after christmas. a hefty 750-page hardcover, it felt like an indulgence. i haven’t made such a serious commitment to a book since grainger and i were buying and devouring the harry potter books at midnight release parties. i started reading at the very end of january, and it thrilled me to carry it around and crack it open. there’s something that feels honorable and responsible about toting around a big book and pushing through it.
i didn’t have a lot of information about the hour i first believed, except that it was largely about a husband and wife struggling to make their marriage work. i liked the author’s previous works, and the title enticed me. the first half of the book was really good. it dealt with trauma the couple faced at columbine, the rock bottom the wife (maureen) hits as a result of post-traumatic stress and the impact it has on the marriage. the husband (caelum) is miserably ineffective in helping her.
turns out the book is really about Read the rest of this entry »
fred and george weasley update
In ramblings on February 16, 2009 at 4:47 pmthe kittens are approximately 9 months old, which means that they are in the teenager stage of kitty development. if you remember, they are fred and george weasley, named after the mischievous red-headed twins in the harry potter series.
fred is the one whose bones are so malformed (no tracts for his knee caps, no hip joint on his back right leg at all, etc.) that he shouldn’t be able to walk. but cats are amazing creatures and although he limps around some days (damp, stormy days are the worst) he is just as fast as the other cats. he will never have as much muscle mass as his brother, george, but he is just as tall and long. they remind us a bit also of the brothers in the lion king: mufasa (muscular) and scar (gaunt). except fred isn’t evil like scar. well, sometimes he is.
as you can see from the pictures, Read the rest of this entry »
talk to me. please.
In ramblings on February 10, 2009 at 10:35 ami have a poll dance up over at read write poem. this one is about how much of their poetry do people post on their blogs. go over there and join in the discussion!
my standard of beauty
In process, ramblings on February 9, 2009 at 9:42 pmit’s come out here once or twice that i’m an animal nut. i’m one of those who begins to weep when she has a chance to get close to a wild animal. i follow certain species more closely than others. one of my passions is gorillas (i also read a lot about the other apes, elephants, whales — blue, in particular — and manatees). i haven’t been good at capturing my feelings in poetry, yet, although i’ve tried a few times. the trick is to find my real connection, to get beyond the “just because i care” kind of thing.
just like with the love poems, i’m not giving up. maybe i need to combine the two: “love poem to mawazo” or something. anyway, look at these beauties. look into their eyes. they have no way of knowing that they may be one of the last generations of their species. (the other problem is finding a way in poetry to avoid being “preachy” about the very real possibility of extinction. it’s tricky.)
the link is to a blog i follow about different groups of biologists and rangers attempting to protect mountain gorillas. it’s just one of a half-dozen conservation blogs i read. and those are just the gorilla ones. there are others. i wish there were something i could do.
funniest thing ever
In ramblings on February 8, 2009 at 9:33 ami enjoy reading horoscopes, for entertainment purposes. rarely, does mine ever make any sense to me. but today, the horoscope from daily om that comes to my email each morning made me laugh out loud. it said:
“today you may respond to uncertainty with a refined levelheadedness that is likely a testament to your internal equilibrium.”
there are, maybe, a dozen regular readers of this blog. some of you even know me outside the blog, in real life (jill) or in the reasonable substitute called “email.” no matter which word — “refined” or “levelheadedness” or “equilibrium” — trips you up, you know for sure this horoscope has made a fool of itself. it has dishonored horoscopes and their descendants for generations to come. it’s funny, right?
later, the horoscope (i’m cancer, by the way, july 20, on the cusp of leo, which even as i reject this particular horoscope can tell you spells t-r-o-u-b-l-e) goes on to credit me with “intuitive soulfulness.” now, that’s one i could be sucked into. that’s one i could believe, mostly because i hope it’s true. in other words, it would make a great pick-up line for a guy to use on me at a bar. “hey, lady. i like you. i see intuitive soulfulness in your eyes.” i would fall for him. immediately. take him home and show him my internal equilibrium.
write a poem for me
In ramblings on February 6, 2009 at 6:12 pmwell, not for me. write it for yourself. but do it because i’m asking you to. over at read write poem. my prompt is up. poems due on thursday!
natalie and something more
In ramblings on February 4, 2009 at 12:25 amhere’s what i posted near the end of my notes on the natalie goldberg workshop: “i had assumed my reasons for traveling to charleston were natalie goldberg, writing and rest. it turns out it was for something more. it’s never about what we think it’s about.”
i also posted the other day that i had had a spiritual experience while running while i was in charleston and promised to say more.
here’s my best attempt at describing those experiences, although they are the kinds of things that tend to disappear or evaporate when you try to pin them down.
* ** *
when i read natalie goldberg’s old friend from far away, these passages resonated most with me:
this is the funny thing about writing memoir: we go back to retrieve our lives, to make sense of them. often it is painful: to realize our mistakes, the wrong turns we made. but something else also happens. Read the rest of this entry »
natalie goldberg memoir workshop
In ramblings on January 28, 2009 at 1:46 pmshe pronounces it “meh-mwa,” addresses us affectionately as “class,” tells a doubting thomas to “shut up and write,” and spies on us during free writing to see who’s breaking the rules and crossing things out.
for homework friday night, we complete a 60-minute free write on “tell me your story of love.” i manage to write the entire time but fail to get to the good parts. i realize the next day, listening to her speak, that it’s because i neglected details and avoided “go[ing] for the jugular.”
we spend most of our time together writing. we also meditate, slow walk and read to each other. and natalie reads to us, not her stuff, but selections from other writers whose writing she finds rich in detail. she’s also interested in writing that wanders/moves like the mind wanders/moves.
we practice the art of “recall” as a feedback mechanism. it’s not critique (what’s good, what’s bad, what i liked); it’s remembering. it’s saying out loud phrases and images you heard in the piece being read. it’s brilliant. she encourages us to Read the rest of this entry »
“hope” dashed
In ramblings on January 14, 2009 at 2:19 pmyesterday, while getting my hair done, my hair dresser and i were talking about the end of the world. she mentioned that she had started watching documentaries about the 2012 doomsday predictions. neither of us believe it’s very plausible but agree it’s fascinating.
and then i had a vision. a math vision. (i know! how odd!) i will turn 40 in 2012. (i’m unhappy about it.) could the end of the world save me from having to turn 40?
if a person can feel exuberant about world annihilation, i was.
and then i came home and brought myself up to speed. the end of the world isn’t coming until december 21, 2012. my birthday is in july.
crap.
